


It’s Hard to Believe in Coincidence

by Potrix



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Crack, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Loki and Thor Are Not Related, Loki and Thor learn how to share, M/M, Marvel RarePair Exchange, No Incest, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 17:53:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2821034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potrix/pseuds/Potrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After his return from Afghanistan, the last thing Tony wants to deal with is a relationship. He gets two. And then something else entirely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It’s Hard to Believe in Coincidence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [obsidianlullaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsidianlullaby/gifts).



> _...but it’s even harder to believe in anything else. - John Green_
> 
> This is my gift for obsidianlullaby ([fantalaimon](http://fantalaimon.tumblr.com/)) as part of the [MarvelRarePairExchange](http://marvelrarepairexchange.tumblr.com). 
> 
> It takes place after Tony returns from Afghanistan and for the sake of the story, there never was and won't ever be a Tony/Pepper relationship. Tony's sexuality is open to interpretation. I apologise if some characters (especially Thor) might sound somewhat OOC at times, but since this is an alternate universe without superpowers, Thor and Loki obviously aren't Gods and their speech would be different than in the MCU movies. It is also my first time writing most of these pairings and they are not my usual choice, but I decided to challenge myself with this exchange and hope the results are enjoyable. 
> 
> As usual, I'm not a native speaker and open to constructive criticism.
> 
> Happy reading!

**It’s Hard to Believe in Coincidence**

* * *

“You need to get out of the house,” Pepper sighs, perfectly manicured hands braced on her hips and lips pursed tightly in fond exasperation. She glances around the workshop, gives a little sniff of displeasure at the chaotic state of it, and then fixes her attention back on Tony. “This is sad, even for you.”

Tony gasps, clutching a hand to his chest. “I am offended to the highest degree,” he declares dramatically, scowling down at the greasy handprint he’s leaving on his top. Which is definitely not an excuse to not look at Pepper. “And I’m fine.”

“Good,” Pepper smiles, showing teeth, and Tony’s stomach does an anxious flip because that is not her nice smile, that is her foreboding smile. “Rhodey will be so glad to hear it. Your reservation is at seven, Happy will be here to pick you up shortly after six. Dress nicely,” she instructs, waving a hand at the rumpled ensemble he’s been wearing for, well, a while now.

“You are a terrible person, Pep,” Tony groans, his expression one of utmost betrayal as he perches on the edge of the closest workbench to assume a more comfortable pouting position.

Pepper rolls her eyes at his antics, but her features soften as she steps closer, gently cupping Tony’s face. “Terribly worried about you, Tony.”

And Tony can’t blame her for that, not really. He’s painfully aware of how much he’s changed since returning home, how little of the flashy, larger-than-life persona he wore almost constantly for most of his adult life is still left intact.

But then again, almost getting blown to pieces and spending months at the mercy of a militant terrorist group before being rescued in a terrifying military operation only to find out the man he’s considered a father for longer than he ever knew his biological parents was the one to order the hit on him is probably a pretty valid excuse for slipping into a teensy tiny crisis and closing himself away in his tower for a month or six.

“We’re all aware of how difficult the last year has been for you, Tony, and no one is blaming you or begrudging you the time away you needed,” Pepper continues softly, giving a small smile and brushing her thumbs over his cheeks when he grimaces at her choice of conversation topic. “But please, don’t pretend with me. I know you’re not okay. And you don’t have to be okay right now, you really don’t.”

She pulls back just enough to be able to place a careful hand over his heart, graciously opting not to mention the way Tony flinches at the initial contact before he can remind himself that Pepper is safe, not a threat.

“This bothers you more than you care to admit,” Pepper sighs sadly, splaying her fingers over the artificially reconstructed part of his sternum. “You pushed yourself through recovery, through physical therapy, expecting to come out on the other side the exact same as you were before, but you’ve changed, Tony, in so many ways, and not nearly all of them are for the worse. The sooner you can find it in yourself to accept that, the easier it will be to start putting this behind you and rejoin the rest of us here in the present. And we’re waiting for you, we miss you.”

Letting his head fall forward, Tony buries his face in Pepper’s shoulder and curls his arms around her waist, hugging her tight. “I don’t remember Amateur Psychology being on your resume,” he tries to joke, immediately sensing that it falls completely flat. He winces and pulls back, gracing Pepper with a sheepish half-shrug.

“Go out, enjoy your evening with Rhodey,” Pepper orders, although not unkindly, smoothing her hands down his arms before taking a step back. “You have a serious mad scientist vibe going on here with the crazy hair and the evil minions.”

That startles a genuine laugh out of Tony while DUM-E chirps, clearly offended, from his docking station over in the corner.

“Ready by six,” Pepper reminds him as she crosses the shop, turning in the doorway to point a stern finger at him. “Are we clear, Mister Stark?”

“Crystal, Miss Potts.”

***

Dinner with Rhodey is a laid-back affair and by the time the main course is cleared, Tony is relaxed and thoroughly enjoying the chance to catch up with his best friend, joking and teasing the other man good-naturedly across the table.

They relocate to the upstairs lounge for drinks afterwards where Tony stubbornly ignores Rhodey’s relieved glances and dismisses the one comment he makes about how glad he is that Tony decided to finally give up on his self-imposed exile with a mock-annoyed wave of his hand.

But after two decades of dealing with Tony’s emotional immaturity, Rhodey has become fairly adept at translating dismissive sniffs and huffy grunts into the gestures of appreciation and thanks they’re meant to be, letting Tony’s indignant flailing in response to all things serious wash over him with his usual patience and poise.

It’s pleasantly familiar.

Tony explains the changes he’s about to introduce to the board, the next big step forward in the clean energy business, and Rhodey gives an update on what’s going on in the army, acting adorably put out when Tony adds little bits of highly classified information he is absolutely not supposed to be in possession of.

“You’re aware that you’re committing treason,” Rhodey points out, but Tony can see how his lips twitch upwards when he snarks back, “Their security should be considered treason.”

They bicker and snipe at each other, an amiable back-and-forth which dispels any lingering doubts Tony might have had about venturing out of the sanctuary of his tower. Talking to Rhodey is easy, always has been, and Tony should have known better than to assume the past few months to have altered a friendship which has already survived Tony’s coming-out, years of almost-alcoholism and the absolute disaster that was the nineties.

“Next round is on me,” Tony says graciously as he gets up to move across the room a while later, still chuckling at Rhodey’s sulky muttering in response to Tony’s secure government data collecting hobby.

The lounge is fairly crowded by now and Tony has to push down a wave of unease as people brush him left and right, bumping into him, but he eventually makes it to the bar only a little shaken-up, even gracing the bartender with a grin Tony supposes must look flirtatious to anyone who doesn’t know him too well.

A theory proven correct when Felix, according to the name tag, brightens up and leans closer over the counter to take Tony’s order, body language open and inviting.

It’s gratifying, the realisation that despite the fact that he’s missing half his chest and his heart resembles a hunk of Swiss cheese more than a vital organ nowadays, people are still drawn to him, that curling his lips up just so and coyly batting his eyelashes still makes men a good ten years younger than him blush and stutter.

Martinis acquired and a red-faced Felix tipped generously, Tony turns away from the bar only to bump right into the guy standing uncomfortably close behind him, one of the glasses clattering to the floor and the other only saved by the man’s quick reflexes, a hand shooting out to steady Tony’s own.

“Whoa, careful there bud-“ Tony begins, angrily tugging at his soaked shirt before he glances up and _oh_. “Tall, handsome stranger with arms to die for who should definitely tell me his name.”

“Apologies, friend,” the man smiles sheepishly and wow, incredibly gorgeous and adorably awkward all packed into six-foot-something of compact muscles, now that’s just not fair. “Allow me to replace your beverage, it is the least I can do.”

Without waiting for an answer, Big Blond steers Tony to an empty stool with an arm around his shoulders, already waving over one of the bartenders before Tony even gets the chance to protest. Not that he would have, casually leaning into the man’s side instead and quirking an amused eyebrow up at him once he turns back to Tony.

“You know, my mother was always very clear about accepting candy from strange men and I figure that sort of thing goes for alcohol, too, so...” he quips, unable to not smile when that earns him a booming laugh from the other man.

“Thor,” Thor, apparently, introduces himself, taking the seat next to Tony, their knees pressing together and neither of them making a move to do anything about it. “Highly embarrassed but nonetheless pleased to meet you.”

“No need for that,” Tony waves dismissively, allowing his gaze to wander over Thor’s chest for a moment before he snaps it back up to his face with a leering grin, “the company more than makes up for it.

And it has to be Tony’s birthday, there’s absolutely no other explanation for it, because Thor laughs again, quieter and somewhat more intimate this time, one big, warm hand finding its way to the small of Tony’s back.

“Tony,” Tony offers, accepting his new drink from Felix and taking a sip, making sure to swipe his tongue over his shiny wet lips afterwards. Thor follows the movement with his eyes and Tony just barely manages not to puff out his chest and preen. “You here with someone or did you come all by yourself?”

“My friends,” Thor begins, twisting in his seat to nod at a group of four, a blond man immediately starting to whoop encouragingly when he spots Thor and Tony in their half embrace. Thor shoots him a warning look but seems more amused than anything else. “I’m certain they will be fine without me for now.”

Which reminds Tony why he has two Martinis in front of him, causing him to turn and seek out Rhodey who’s already making his way over to Thor’s friends, gesturing at Tony with a roll of his eyes as he holds out a hand to introduce himself like the exceptional wingman he is.

“So,” Tony hums, drawing the word out as he returns his attention to Thor, “you’re not from around here, are you? Accent. I like it.”

Thor, as he explains happily and readily, is from Sweden originally but studied in Australia for several years before moving to New York to teach, much to Tony’s surprise, nursing and child development at a private school. The additional football coaching, on the other hand, is more expected.

He helps overseeing and organising the QSA meetings of his students, something he talks about proudly and passionately, his whole face lightning up, and Tony can’t help but find the honest, sincere way he does so incredibly endearing.

Tony mentions his own humanitarian work, the SI funded programs providing underprivileged children with tutoring and free after school care, the summer internship programmes, and Thor is so genuinely interested and awed, it’s staggeringly flattering and almost a little overwhelming.

The only subject Thor is reluctant to delve into is family, something Tony is able to relate to on a multitude of levels. He is superficially close to his father, Thor says, meaning they get along splendidly concerning topics they agree on and don’t talk about the rest. There is a doting soon-to-be stepmother Thor adores but rarely sees and a stepbrother he barely knows but, after a falling out during their first meeting, doesn’t really get along with.

They chat, Tony flirts shamelessly and Thor proves that he’s a very physical and tactile person, always touching an enthusiastically approving Tony in one way or another.

Eventually, the two of them do guiltily rejoin their friends who promptly proceed to push them together at any given opportunity, trying and failing spectacularly to be subtle about their intentions.

All in all, the evening is a roaring success which Pepper most definitely will not need to know about because that woman _loves_ to gloat.

***

“Why?” Tony whines, tugging the blankets up and over his head to block out the disgustingly bright early morning sunshine. “JARVIS? What time is it?” he demands, then groans when he rolls over to shoot a bleary-eyed glance at the clock on his phone and sees it’s only a bit after eight.

 _“The coffee is brewing and breakfast should arrive shortly,”_ JARVIS informs him, completely unperturbed by the rudeness and the continued stream of colourful curses. _“As per your request, I would also like to remind you of Miss Potts’ birthday and the fact that you have failed to purchase an appropriate gift as of yet, sir.”_

Tony shoots upright at that before he remembers the amount he drank last night, breathing out a dizzy “Woah!” as he falls back into the sheets again.

Rubbing at his pulsing temples and despite the not unsubstantial pain radiating through his head, he can’t prevent his lips from curling up into a satisfied little smile as the memories of the previous evening come flooding back in; the restaurant and the lounge, delicious food and even better company which, of course, leads right to the chaste but promising kiss Thor pressed to his cheek as they left which a tipsy, snickering Rhodey teased him about the entire drive home.

“Tell me there’s a number under the name Thor in my phone, Jay,” Tony hums happily, slowly edging closer to the side of the bed so he can plant his feet on the floor, although not moving further yet. Slow progress is still progress, after all.

_“I’m afraid the only new addition is a ‘Sexy Scandinavian’.”_

If he were able to, JARVIS would be rolling his eyes right now, Tony’s sure of it. “Thanks, buddy,” he chuckles but quickly sobers when he recalls why his AI decided to wake him at too-early-o’clock in the morning.

“Perfume?” is the first thing that comes to mind.

_“You gave her a flask of her favourite scent last month after-“_

“Don’t remind me,” Tony interrupts with a groan as he finally heaves himself up into a sitting position, giving a triumphant “Ha!” when the movement doesn’t intensify his already quite persistent nausea. After a moment of consideration he adds, “Flowers would be considered cheap and tacky, right?”

 _“Indeed, sir,”_ JARVIS agrees, sounding a little too judgmental for Tony’s tastes. Then again, the AI does know Pepper and her tastes fairly well, better than Tony at any rate. Which he probably should find more disturbing than he does, but _oh, well._

“What is she reading at the moment?” Tony wants to know despite the blasphemy that is the paperbacks Pepper still prefers, and JARVIS rattles off some name and title Tony, naturally, has never heard before. “Anything newish by the guy she doesn’t have yet?”

_“There is a sequel to one of Miss Potts’ favourites that she has been wanting to acquire for some time now.”_

“Perfect,” Tony hums, “order it and make sure it’s here for the party tonight.”

There is a moment of silence that doesn’t promise anything good, then JARVIS speaks up again. _“The novel is not available online, I’m afraid. Would you like me to put together a list of local stores that do currently have it in stock?”_

Tony narrows his eyes at one of JARVIS’ cameras. “Do any of those local stores deliver?”

_“They do not.”_

“Pepper better appreciate the sacrifices I’m making here,” Tony grumbles, pushing himself up and dragging himself across the room and into the bathroom for a hopefully revitalising shower.

 _“Miss Potts will be most pleased, I’m sure,”_ JARVIS comments dryly and Tony, being the mature individual he is, flips him off and shuts the door on him.

***

The place JARVIS directs him to is a quaint, cosy-looking bookstore and coffee shop combo crammed between some small gallery and a curiosity shop with a man nearly as old as the junk he’s selling scowling out at the people walking by on the street.

Refuelling takes priority and Tony orders the biggest, blackest cup of coffee on offer before wandering off to search for Pepper’s gift while his beverage is being prepared.

It’s with no small amount of amusement that he discovers that someone organised the books by personal preferences instead of genre or author which, while making the act of finding anything somewhat difficult, is a system right after Tony’s own heart.

The post-its with dry, sarcastic or downright scathing short reviews presumably written by the owner, or a very brave employee, are what convince Tony that driving out here might not have been the absolute worst way to spend his morning.

He finds what he’s looking for and the note on that particular book merely says _‘acceptable’_ in neat cursive which is much better than most of what he’s spotted so far, so Tony takes that as a good signs as he strolls back to the register.

His coffee is already waiting and Tony takes it with an appreciative hum, downing half of it in one go and promptly scalding his mouth in the process. The subsequent swearing earns him a tiny snort from the man behind the counter and he glances up, ready to snap at him but faltering at the sight of a pair of startlingly green and almost frighteningly intense eyes watching him.

“Something funny?” Tony lisps with his swelling tongue and the guy tilts his head, the corner of his lips quirking up into a smirk.

“How droll,” he drawls, simply plucking the book out of a now pouting Tony’s hand to scan it in a display of poor manners probably only surpassed by Tony himself.

“Rude,” Tony complains, half-hearted at best, inserting his card into the reader only to get an angry beep an error message in response. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he exclaims, throwing up his arms in frustration.

“There is a bank one block over,” Sassy Bookstore Guy points out, expression more sympathetic now. He snags Tony’s cup, making shooing motions with his free hand. “Go. I’ll top this off in the meantime, on the house. You look as if you need it.”

“I could kiss you right now,” Tony says seriously, snatching up the busted card and nearly running into the door when he hears a suggestive “I am not _that_ easy.” called after him.

When he gets back a few minutes later, there is not only the promised refill but also a still warm croissant waiting for him. He spontaneously rethinks his stand on paperbacks while paying and arguing over the right tipping amount, eventually just refusing to take back his change and sprinting out of the store with a stupid grin on his face.

It’s only once he’s back at the tower and about to throw out the Styrofoam cup that he sees the number and name scribbled on it, the single sentence underneath making Tony laugh out loud into the quiet of his penthouse.

_‘You owe me one breakfast. - Loki’_

***

Thor invites Tony to some charity sport thingy his students are organising the next weekend, insisting that it will be ‘most entertaining’. Tony is sceptical but also powerless against the hopeful note in Thor’s voice. 

The game involves a lot of running around in the mud and makes absolutely no sense, but Tony is snuggled up to Thor, Thor’s chest pressed against his back, strong arms around his waist and a stubbly chin on his shoulder and _that_ Tony definitely enjoys.

They stop to get Chinese take-away on their way back to Thor’s apartment where they promptly forget about the food in favour of the suddenly very inviting bed to which they don’t actually make it in the end.

It’s afterwards, sitting on the couch and eating cold noodles with Tony almost drowning in the jersey and boxers he borrowed, that Tony starts the conversation he knows it’s only fair to have as early on as possible.

Thor, much to Tony’s relief, reacts with nothing but understanding to the admission that Tony isn’t ready to jump into anything too serious just yet. Tony doesn’t say much, but then again, he doesn’t have to. Everyone watching or reading the news knows some of what happened, is aware of his kidnapping and the subsequent captivity.

“I suggest we take things as they come and see where they lead us,” Thor smiles and Tony moves to straddle his lap, threading his fingers into soft hair as he kisses him hungrily.

***

“You can read, can you not?” Loki asks from the other side of his shop door, tapping a finger at the ‘closed’ sign.

Tony smiles sweetly and holds up the tickets in his hand, one eyebrow cocked in question. Loki’s whole face lights up despite his attempts at keeping up an annoyed appearance and Tony laughs, waving for the other man to hurry up already.

An emergency in one of the Taiwan facilities had led to Tony being out of the country for most of the last month, missing their original breakfast date and as much fun as texting under the table during meetings and not entirely G-rated phone calls and Skype sessions are, he’s itching for the real thing now.

Loki, however, enjoys his freedom and autonomy maybe even more than Tony does his own and had looked thoroughly unimpressed by Tony’s explanation as to what he did and didn’t expect to come out of their arrangement before calling him a spluttering moron and voicing his desire to keep things casual for the time being.

Which doesn’t stop either of them from making out like horny teenagers in the back of the movie theatre until a piece of soggy toast hits Tony in the back of the neck and Loki can’t stop cackling at his startled yelp.

After the midnight screening they stroll around leisurely and aimlessly, fingers linked together, arguing about whose PHDs have more academic value, not shying away from tickling and pinching to bring across their points.

Tony does eventually buy Loki the promised breakfast at the first open bakery they find and when they reach the building housing Loki’s shop and apartment, Loki doesn’t even pretend to ask him in for coffee, simply grabbing a fistful of Tony’s jacket and pulling him inside instead.

***

Tony should consider himself lucky, he knows he should, and everyone keeps telling him so.

Six months in and both his relationships are not only still going but positively flourishing. Neither Thor nor Loki make any demands he isn’t able or willing to meet, they both readily work around his already hectic schedule and the fact that there’s another man - or that they are the other man, whichever way one wants to look at it - doesn’t bother them in the slightest.

They’re happy and it makes Tony only feel worse about the fact that he’s miserable.

Hypocritical as it may be after he preached about not wanting any sort of commitment, Tony is now the one finding himself surprisingly attached. In his defence, though, he is terrible at relationships and never expected any of this to last this long, let alone to be going this smoothly and harmonically.

All of this is the film industry’s fault. They taught him about love triangles and jealously and _oh God_ , when has Tony’s life turned into a romantic comedy? Because that’s what this is; there are two suitors and a love interest and he’s got to choose, doesn’t he?

Which is exactly the problem. Tony loves what they have, the three of them, can admit to himself that he’s possibly even beginning to love both Loki and Thor, and that’s not how movies are supposed to end.

Tony wants things to stay how they are right now and simultaneously craves more, so much more, knowing full well he can’t have it all.

Eventually, Tony will have to make a decision or it will be made for him. He has absolutely no idea which prospect is more daunting.

***

The perfect solution to Tony’s dilemma presents itself a week later.

Loki, red-faced and obviously not entirely comfortable with the idea, mentions that his mother will be in town the following weekend and is demanding to get together with him and Tony for brunch on Sunday.

Tony grins down at where Loki has his head pillowed on his legs, poking a finger into Loki’s belly. “You told your mom about me?”

Loki swats at his hand, glaring murderously, so Tony leans down to steal a kiss, chuckling against Loki’s mouth.

It’s a huge step, Tony knows, not only because meeting the parents always is, but also because Loki clearly loves his mother to bits while being notoriously private about the rest of his family. All Tony could gather so far is that his father isn’t in the picture any longer and that Loki does not approve of his mother’s current partner.

“I’d love to meet her,” Tony promises, putting as much feeling into the statement as he dares, and pecks Loki’s lips again.

And the timing really couldn’t be better because that very same evening Thor video calls, asking Tony to join him and his parents at their family lodge to celebrate their anniversary.

“They are eager to make your acquaintance,” Thor smiles on the screen but he’s nervous, fiddling with the strands that have come loose from his bun. “It would mean a great deal to them.”

Thor doesn’t have to add the _and me_ for Tony to hear it.

So Tony will meet both Thor and Loki’s folks in the span of two days which, while admittedly a little terrifying, is bound to give him some new perspective on the whole matter.

He will spend the weekend getting to know his not-yet-boyfriends from a new side and then he will make a decision. Going on like this isn’t an option anymore because Tony, unused as he is to the concept of it, is battling with guilt over feeling more for both of them than he has told either of them. He isn’t lying per se, everyone involved is aware of everyone else involved, but that deal had been made back when Tony had still insisted on keeping their relationships open and casual.

This changes everything but at least Tony is fairly sure things can’t get much more complicated.

***

Standing between Thor and Loki in front of Loki’s mom and Thor’s father, _Loki and Thor’s parents_ , is the single most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to Tony. And that is coming from the man who once accidentally flashed a princess and had to rush a one-night stand to the hospital after an unfortunate Viagra incident.

The only saving grace is that, apparently, neither Thor nor Loki have told their respective parental units Tony’s name and they, therefore, haven’t made the connection yet which is something Tony would definitely not know how to explain to the couple in their mid-sixties he’s currently shaking hands with.

He feels a sudden urge to laugh hysterically and nearly chokes through the attempt of keeping it at bay.

“You are a friend of our sons?” Loki’s mother, Frigga, clarifies, sounding justifiably suspicious about it. But she does seem pleased when Tony nods and smiles weakly, exclaiming a warm, “How wonderful!”

Odin, Thor’s father, is stoic and not overly conversational, gracing them with a curt “Good afternoon.” before Tony is forcefully dragged into the coatroom and away from the rest of the party guests.

“How dare you,“ Loki hisses at Thor the moment they are out of earshot and Thor’s face goes hard in a way Tony hasn’t witnessed before.

“You can hardly blame me for this,” Thor growls back and then they’re off, switching from English to Swedish halfway through but Tony still cringes every now and again at a particularly nasty sounding supposed insult.

And it’s funny, how Tony made up his mind to stop being a coward and _make up his mind_ , only to have everything blow up right into his face. Funny in a tragic, decidedly unfunny sort of way.

“I should go,” he whispers dejectedly and goes to move around them, freezing when they snap, in eerie unison, “No!”

“Absolutely not,” Loki insists, softer now, reaching out to take Tony’s hand and twine their fingers together. “I will not let this oaf ruin-“

“You are one to talk,” Thor bites out, an odd contradiction to the gentle squeeze he gives Tony’s shoulder. “Tony, this does not change how I feel about us.”

“I-“ Tony begins, then has to clear his throat against the lump that’s forming in it. “I have no idea what to say. Or do. I got nothing. Nada. Niente.”

They all hover in tense silence for a long moment and Tony is about to suggest that he leave again when Loki speaks up.

“This,” he sniffs with a jerky gesture encompassing all three of them, “does not have to be the end of our arrangement.”

Thor nods enthusiastically. “We will continue on as we have before.”

And Tony can’t believe he’s got to be the mature one, the one who has to say it, but he says it nonetheless. “This is a disaster waiting to happen,” he begins slowly, eyes jumping from one man to the other and back again. “Acting like knowing who the person I spend the other half of my time with doesn’t have any effect on the respective relationships I have with each of you, it’s a nice sentiment, but-“

“Do you wish to break things off?” Loki asks plainly and Tony’s breath catches because no, that’s not what he wants, not like this. Loki crowds in closer, bringing up their linked hands to kiss Tony’s knuckles. “Then it is decided.”

“Yes,” Thor agrees and of course this insanity is the first thing the two of them are on the same page about, “we shall put this incident behind us and focus on brighter things,” he smiles, cupping a possessive hand over the side of Tony’s neck.

Loki sneers at him and tightens his own grip on Tony. Tony can feel Thor’s hand twitch in response, see his lips purse angrily.

He’s had a long list of stupid, unwise and downright dangerous ideas over the years but this, Tony fears as he watches Loki and Thor glaring daggers at each other, might just be top them all.

What he should do is let them both go, for fairness’ sake as much as his personal sanity, let them go and start working on moving on. Because choosing, well, that’s right out of the question now with the two of them, their lives so closely interwoven, impossible to ever fully separate. Would be cruel, not to mention even harder for Tony to do now than it had been before this utter catastrophe of a day.

When it comes down to it, however, Tony is incredibly selfish.

Or, at least, that what’s he tells himself, even though weak would probably be more fitting.

But selfish or weak, it doesn’t matter, the result is the same; everything just got a hell of a lot more complicated.

***

Things start spiralling out of control pretty much immediately.

Instead of brunch, Loki begins the next day with pouncing on Tony and then refusing to let him out of bed for the reminder of it, the sex as wonderful as ever but with a definite desperate edge to it.

Tony doesn’t mention it and neither does he talk about how Thor does the exact same thing, intent to prove himself, the next time he gets Tony to himself.

Loki turns up uninvited to one of Tony and Thor’s dates, playing it off as a coincidence and getting away with it because he’s a clever bastard and made carefully sure there’s no way to prove that he did it on purpose. The evening ends with him and Thor shouting at each other in the back of Tony’s limousine while Tony empties half of the mini bar.

Thor spends an entire week ordering the most disgusting foods he can find in New York under Loki’s name, ranging from Casu Marzu, and Italian cheese with live maggots in it, to a whole sheep’s brain and headcheese. What takes the cake, however, at least in Tony’s horrified opinion, is the Hákarl.

Loki takes Tony away to a spa for a relaxing weekend for two and Thor counters by accompanying him on a short trip to the West coast, waiting for him at the Malibu house with a home-cooked meal when Tony gets back from a day of marathon meetings and schmoozing potential investors.

The amount of questions about ‘that other person you’re seeing, Tony’ increase exponentially, ranging from the relatively harmless inquiries as to how Tony’s relationship with the respective other is progressing right down to the somewhat worrying demands to know which one of them Tony likes to spend his time with more.

And those Tony could live and deal with, but they are usually followed by accusations he refuses to address and baits he won’t raise to.

“Did you cancel our theatre tickets in order to go and see Thor?” Loki wants to know, declining to believe the true story about the Stark Industries server breach and how they needed Tony there to initiate counter measures, acting prickly and distant for days after the incident.

“I am well aware that Loki’s interest are more sophisticated and similar to yours,” Thor begins one evening when Tony, severely jetlagged from a business trip to Eastern Europe, falls asleep against him watching a movie on the couch, “but it would be appreciated if you could at least make the effort of staying awake through the activities I enjoy.”

Turning down sex always ends with suspiciously narrowed eyes and exaggerated pouting, no matter what reasons Tony offers, so he starts to end outings and dates prematurely to avoid the inevitable fights.

There are constant calls and texts coming in from both of them and the originally sweet surprise visits quickly turn into ways of monopolising Tony’s attention and simultaneously controlling the time he has free to spend with the other involved party.

It’s three months of this, of on-going arguments and apologising for made-up things and scenarios, before Tony snaps.

Pepper, concerned about Tony’s recent regression back to locking himself away with a glass or four of scotch most evenings, urges him to attend one of the publicity things for the Maria Stark Foundation he usually detests but can’t find it in himself to protest against much when she’s giving him one of her no-nonsense looks.

He opts to invite neither Loki nor Thor due to the fit of jealousy that would undoubtedly provoke in the not-date and only realises that he never took them off the all-events-encompassing guest list he put them on ages ago when his conversation partner starts shooting confused glances over his shoulder and he turns to see the two of them glaring daggers at him and each other from opposite sides of the room.

Excusing himself with a forced smile, Tony stalks out into the hall, certain they’ll follow, and into the unoccupied library of the old Stark Mansion, perching on the arm of one of the armchairs with his face in his hands.

“I’m done with this,” are the first words out of his mouth when Thor closes the door behind himself and Loki, blurted before Tony has made the conscious decision to speak them but no less true for it. “I’m done, I can’t do this anymore.”

He holds up a hand, the movement jerky and angry, to nip the protests he can already see forming on both their lips in the butt.

“This obviously isn’t working anymore, for none of us,” Tony sighs, resigned, heart thumping painfully against his chest, throat dry and voice croaky. “I’m hurting both of you by being with the other and I can’t choose, I think that’s become fairly clear over the last couple of weeks. Or maybe I don’t want to choose, maybe I’m selfish and greedy, but it doesn’t really matter anymore, does it?”

Thor takes an aborted step closer and Loki reaches out with one trembling hand. Tony moves away and the way the both flinch stings, makes him want to fall into the arms he knows would be opened for him, but he refrains. Squares his shoulders and soldiers on.

“I know what I promised you and I know that I failed in that regard. This was never supposed to go this far and I believe it’s better to end things now before they escalate any further.”

“Tony-“ Loki tries but Tony shakes his head, sidestepping him and brushing off whatever Thor is about to say with a wave of his hand.

“For what it’s worth; I’m sorry,” Tony says sadly, mouth quirking up into a ghost of a smile. “I screwed things up by getting too involved, at least that’s a new one for me. Just,” he pauses with a hand on the doorknob, not looking back, “take care. Both of you. I’m sorry.”

All that follows him out through the ballroom and into the car is silence.

***

It takes weeks and a change of most of his numbers for the calls to stop.

Tony cancels all public appearances for the foreseeable future and, naturally, the internet goes wild, guessing and making up more and more outrageous and ridiculous stories about another kidnapping, supposed mental breakdowns and, on one memorable occasion, a secret wedding and prolonged honeymoon.

That one sends Tony into a bender from which he wakes up in his bathtub, covered in motor oil and without any memory of how he got there or even what day it is.

Groaning through the hangover pain, Tony manages to half climb, half fall over to the toilet where he dry heaves until he’s dizzy and his eyes burn, limbs shaking and head spinning.

He’ll later attribute the fact that he almost didn’t spot the two men sitting in his living room to the way he has to hold on to the wall and keep his eyes fixed on the ground in order to avoid crashing and breaking his face as he stumbles his way across the penthouse.

It’s the quietly exhaled “Tony.” that has him yelp and whirl around, then moan through another wave of dizziness as he finally sees them watching him warily.

“What?” Tony rasps, incapable of mustering the strength to make it sound annoyed or furious. Which he has every right to be after they went against his wishes and presumably used the access codes he, moronically enough, never changed after the break-up to sneak into his house and ambush him. “JARVIS, alert security and have them escort our guests off the premises.”

“Tony, please,” Thor begs, the devastation in his voice giving Tony enough pause to signal for JARVIS to wait with the kicking out, instead crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows at them.

“We never meant for any of this to happen,” Loki continues, sounding equally raw, fingers tapping nervously against his elbows. “Our behaviour was mean and childish and we owe you and apology.”

“We love you,” Thor hastens to add, eyes wide and hopeful.

Loki purses his lips and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Thank you for that, Thor. I couldn’t have imagined a more optimal or romantic scenario for this declaration.”

“It needed saying,” Thor insists stubbornly and Tony waits for the scathing retort, the sarcastic reply, but it never comes.

Instead, Loki merely shakes his head, visibly gathering himself before turning his full attention back on Tony. “We do. Don’t ever doubt that we do, Tony. We’ve had time to reflect on-“

“We aren’t prepared to lose you over pointless rivalry and squabbling,” Thor cuts in, grinning winningly at Loki when Loki rolls his eyes at him.

“What we want is a chance to prove that we can do better. We want _you_ ,” Loki says and the amount of emotion in the last word sends Tony’s brain into a confused frenzy.

Neither of them makes any moves to come closer yet and Tony finds himself insanely grateful for it because he doesn’t think he’s ready. He’s still processing the realisation that both of them are standing within a few feet of each other and no one is being permanently maimed.

And there’s the love thing, that’s featuring pretty heavily, too, in Tony’s currently reeling mind.

“What are you suggesting?” he manages after a long moment, willing the treacherous hope in his heart into submission because- “We can’t go back to how things were. I won’t do that, I can’t do that. Not again.”

Thor does walk over to him then and Tony melts into his embrace, can’t help himself. He startles a little when he feels Loki slide a hand to the back and squeeze softly before arching into the contact with an embarrassingly needy whine.

“There are things more important than the differences between Thor and myself,” Loki whispers, lips brushing against Tony’s temple. “Besides, our parents would be delighted to learn that we intend to share, I’m sure.”

“It helps that he is not all that bad-looking,” Thor admits through a chuckle and Tony can feel rather than see the swat that earns him, sandwiched as he is between the two of them.

The two people that he loves. Who love him back and, apparently, came to an understanding because of it. Who want him because they _love_ him.

Maybe he’s still drunk. It would certainly make more sense than Loki pressing tiny kisses against his pounding head and kneading the knots in his tense shoulders, than Thor running his fingers through his hair with one strong arm holding both Tony and Loki against himself.

“I’m not entirely convinced that I’m actually awake right now. Just, FYI.”

“You need to hydrate,” Thor says immediately and Loki hums in agreement, adding, “And then a bed.”

“Yeah, definitely dreaming,” Tony smirks into Thor’s chest, curling one hand into his shirt and groping around aimlessly with the other until Loki fetches it out of the air and links their fingers together.

“To sleep,” he insists, trying to go for stern, but Tony hears the fond amusement in his voice.

“Spoilsport.”

But, after manoeuvring him through to the bedroom and out of his clothes, after making him drink a glass of water and swallow two Advil, they both lie down with him, on either side of him, and Tony isn’t about to complain about that.

***

**Epilogue - One Year Later**

“You have ten seconds to turn off that infernal blaring before I turn _you_ off,” Loki grumbles into his pillow, aiming a lazy kick across the mattress in Thor’s general direction.

Thor throws a blanket over his head even as he rolls out of bed with all the energy of a disgustingly early riser to shut off the alarm.

“Some of us do have real responsibilities,” Thor quips good-naturedly, brushing his lips over Tony’s forehead before walking over into the ensuite to shower and dress.

“Some of us were smart enough to schedule their responsibilities for a more reasonable hour,” Tony yawns after him, making Loki snicker gloatingly.

It’s not always like this with them, peaceful and teasing, but it is more often than not these days and Tony counts that as progress.

The last twelve months were hard, not only concerning the renegotiation of their relationship, but also with the media shitstorm that followed their ménage a trois becoming public knowledge after one of their first thee-participants-dates.

Being in a polyamorous relationship is apparently too eccentric even for an alleged playboy like Tony Stark.

The positive thing about the involuntary outing was that it, despite Tony’s fears to the contrary, brought all three of them but especially Thor and Loki closer together while they fought through misconceptions, prejudice and a fair share of abuse yelled at mostly Tony whenever he stepped a foot out of his tower.

The talk with Frigga and Odin, however, was surprisingly uneventful and Tony is now fully integrated into the family, meaning he has to attend birthdays, anniversaries and a crapton of holidays he’s fairly sure are completely made up and he complains about religiously while secretly loving the time spent with the people he cares about most.

“Dinner tonight?” Thor asks as he comes back into the room, snapping Tony out of his thoughts as he comes to sit on the bed by Loki’s side.

Tony blinks his eyes open, smiling contentedly at him. “Sounds good. You cooking?”

“Of course,” Thor smiles back and ducks down to extract Loki from his nest, ignoring the hissing in favour of pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth, laughing when he pulls back and adds an amused, “Grumpy.”

Loki huffs at him before turning over and tucking his head into Tony’s neck, mumbling something incomprehensible that has equal chances of being “I love you.” and “Go away, peasant, how dare you disturb my rest with your need for affection?”

“I love you,” Thor tells them, used to the every morning ritual with the two late risers, stroking a hand up Loki’s back as he leans over to kiss Tony goodbye. “I’ll start the coffee before I go.”

“Best boyfriend ever,” Tony beams, then laughs when Loki jabs a finger into his side.

It’s not conventional, this thing they have going on, but it’s what they want.

And that’s good enough for Tony. To Tony, it’s perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> If you didn't understand the toast reference, I'm disappointed in you and you need to go check out the [Rocky Horror Show](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rocky_Horror_Show) ASAP and also have a look at [this](http://www.rockyhorror.com/participation/proplist.php). And immediately watch the movie, of course.
> 
> You liked this story? Go check out my other [work](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Potrix/works) or come say hi on [tumblr](http://potrix-the-queerschlaeger.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> Happy Holidays everyone!


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